We all are a bit retrospective before birthdays and so am I. Remember the post I wrote for my 26th? I was happy with how life had shaped up at that point. There were many unfulfilled dreams and struggles but there was also hope. Now, three years later, I ask myself has life progressed for the better? Am I happier? Do I have new dreams? What matters the most now? These are questions we all ask ourselves once in a while and does not always have answers to.
I can start by answering that my life was not so different three years ago. A lot of it has been the same and yet so many new things have happened that has changed thoughts and perspectives for the better. While teenage is messy as people say, it is not until you reach your twenties that you realize what a carefree age that was. This is because twenties are filled with expectations. The beginning of 20s is when you are almost finishing up your first graduate degree. This is also when most parents claim that their "duty" is almost over. I think that is a fair enough claim, considering that it is finally a chance to do and explore one's own interests. With this level of independence comes generations of ogling eyes that want to know what you do, see how you do it and if you do it well. In your career and personal life. On the other hand, 20s are when personal development is the strongest as you realize the potential and self-worth, and make out-of-the-box decisions to place your life where you want it to be. This is fueled by expectations of oneself.
These collective external and internal expectations drown your 20s, but also help you excel in life.
My life was a perfect example of this. My parents are very supportive and always have had big dreams for me. And throughout my 20s, I slowly evolved into a person who expected more and more from myself. The PhD journey sort of supports that ideology a lot (I could redirect you to one of my post which explains just that). I left my home country when I was 21 and therefore a wide range of people and experiences carved out my life. The 20s had no boundaries and made me believe that anything is possible. As years progressed and I settled into a new life structure, my passion towards learning new things only grew. In a bit more than ten years after beginning to study in a specialized field, I obtained my terminal (?) degree last year and excitedly added a new title to my name that I am still not used to. Things seemed great as it was the end of a journey. But it was just one.
Career goals, no matter how tough they are, have imaginary formulas that help you achieve them. Parameters like hard work, perseverance and a pinch of luck. But what about life outside of this? It is a freestyle dance. While career goals offer you the sense of purpose and achievement, your life supplements it with happiness. This marks a transition from 20s to the 30s. After the carefree teens to the expectation filled 20s, 30s are consequences of your decisions in life. You choose to be healthy and fit, you choose to have a garden, you choose to explore the world, you choose to settle down. Whatever you choose, you live with the decisions and make better ones next. This is an entirely new domain in life for me. Personal choices that do not offer a degree, a status or even monetary benefit, but just happiness. This can be different things for everyone. I recently had a taste of this while being around my newborn nephew. I took years to have basic conservations in German but needed no training for baby language. Innocence does lighten up your soul.
It is amazing how perspectives in life change over the years although you swear they never will, only to realize that you were wrong once again. The irrelevant title of this post was also the title to the invitation I sent around to friends inviting them to my birthday party this year. As timing always has its own mind, I also became COVID positive shortly before, removing all the time I need outside to plan a good party and reminding me once again that even the greatest plans do not have the best end result. The pandemic taught most of us that. Therefore as the last 20s birthday is approaching in a few days, I'm going to expand this so far eventful and exciting life a bit more to allow for new experiences. At least in the end I can write a blogpost about it ;)
Another round around the sun,
Swetha
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Update after the birthday:
The 'Last 20s Party' actually turned out to be even better than I planned. I did not have my balloons and games as once thought, but my home was filled with people happily sharing stories, singing and laughing.There were some very thoughtful presents too (microwave, tiny mouse that was a product of crocheting and homemade goodies). What more could I ask for?
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