Day 23.
I've been thinking about writing a post about living out these times for almost three weeks now. The reason for not writing one until now, for the very first time, is not procrastination. I wanted to see how life at home would progress for the first few weeks. It's been more than 21 days now for me with a sure 14 more days on the calendar. COVID-19 cases in Germany are still increasing but the per day positive cases are slowly starting to drop. This is just the beginning though. While different countries are managing the situation, global economy is getting shakier and while we all realize who the front runners are during a time of crisis, some of us can do our part by mostly just staying at home. Not because we have nothing to do, but doing the most important part, which is to flatten the curve and stop the spread of new infections. And this seems to be working.
Coming back to staying at home as part of the self-quarantine suggested to be followed all around the world. In Germany, the rules state that people can be outside to buy essentials, for physical fitness and to walk a pet. These options will work when followed with extreme responsibility, but as human as we are, there are varying range of problems that arise with this. Although, seems like this is still working when compared to no self-quarantine rules at all. So let's just leave it there. I live by myself in a 25m2 apartment. I also live alone. This suits best my lifestyle because I dedicate most part of my day to work like most of you, and coming back home was usually to rest for the night or hibernate and re-energize during weekends. Being a PhD student in Life Sciences, my work also revolves largely in a lab with different bio-safety levels etc (sometimes even wearing protective gear like what you see now in the news channels ;)) and so coming home at night gives me a time to unwind and reply to e-mails/look at spreadsheets etc. And then when the weekends are there, if I don't make any plans with friends, I stay inside making my favorite food, talking to people over video calls and binge-watching thrillers, documentaries or Korean/Chinese dramas (I'm a bit extreme like that ;)). This was like phase-separation. There were weekdays and then there were weekends. During the most busiest parts of PhD, like before a publication for example, weekends become like weekdays and this tires you out, but does not depress you, because in the end it adds points to 'productivity'.
Now this is where the current situation is different. We live a lifestyle where weekdays become like weekends. For me this means, more time indoors just like all of you. Currently, I spend about 90 min outside of 10,080 minutes that is in a week). This is a large shift in balance, one that any brain finds it hard to comprehend. My first work week at home was relatively lively, with wrapping up a lot of data analysis and going through the massive incoming of emails regarding organization during the 'COVID break' as we now call it. I woke up in the morning and spent hours on a computer for the second and third consecutive day, which I have never done before. Things started to feel weird when I went to bed at night (which I can see from my work table because there is no spatial difference between a living and bedroom here (thankfully, the kitchen is zoned out). I felt depression was creeping in and that was a bad feeling. I've been there before and would do anything to wack that away from my life again. That's when I started reading many articles about how people are dealing with this situation. Some don't seems to work for me, so I decided I will organize my life according to my preferences. So this is how I live now during weekdays. It has been three weeks and I feel so much better.
(timings listed below have a large standard deviation, meaning large plus or minus changes)
07:00 am
Did not deactivate my weekday bedtime reminder: Usually I end my Sundays with my phone reminding me to go to bed at 10.45pm for a Monday start. This is followed by a wake up alarm at 7.00am. This is one of my weekday/weekend separation along with turning down the blinds completely to make the morning dark for a Sat/Sun so I can sleep in longer. This routine is something I've been doing for almost three years now, and I indeed to keep it, although it is absolutely not necessary to get ready to go anywhere. Getting out of bed is only at 07:45 though ;)
08:30 am
Morning talk-to-mom routines (weekdays/weekends): This is a routine probably most of you don't have. But its something I do living abroad for almost 6 years now, and it helps me start the day well catching up with Amma and her stories and gossips and my only time when I get to speak Tamil. Usually during weekdays, we speak for anywhere between 30-45 min and usually I cut her off mid-way when I see that the next tram going to work is leaving in 8 min for the nearby tram stop. I'm clumsy, but I always catch it after a bit of cardio! Weekends we chat for more than 3 hours since I am home and can do things around the house while she does hers. While this is again something that fell into a gray-zone initially as I spend my time at home all the time, now we stop chatting voluntarily around 10:00 am so I can pretend that it is work time.
10:00 to 13:00
I actually work. This is possible, luckily for me because I am towards the second-half of my PhD (will never say 'towards the end' cause we never know when that is) and I can write my thesis. A thesis which consolidates four to five years of work, carefully curated and reflects ones abilities. I have thought about this once in a while and have had ideas of making it creative and now was the 'gift of time' to invest in it. So I spend a lot of time making biological illustration/ graphs and figures for my thesis and write parts of my work done in the last 3.5 years. Voluntarily having to sit down for two months to write a thesis (which PhD students usually do after finishing all experimental work towards the real end of their PhD) was something I was dreading my entire time as a PhD student. So making it mandatory to stay home works in my favor. Kind of making a lemonade out of lemons situation.
13:00 to 14:00 (or longer)
Its lunch time! Lunch time or Mittagspause in German during weekdays was at 11:30. Its a standard German work-lunch break time. Now it has moved more to normal times, the real afternoon. I either heat up food from the previous evening, or decide to make something impromptu, to take a larger break from the work chair. In the beginning, I wanted to continue my TV series from where I left off the previous night while eating, but this was a conscious decision I had to make to not do that, again because of temporal (relating to time) separation. Movies and series were for evenings or weekends. Period. Bringing in this discipline was rather forced because it outweighs the good that it brings compared to the depression that came after a mixed life. I chose watching short YouTube videos (I have watched almost all of Trevor Noah's standup specials now) over switching on the TV. Sometimes I also text a few colleagues and we Zoom our way into a lunch break session gossiping for the most part and discussing science for the rest. It is usually a good/long break and I don't intend to hurry because there is no need to.
14:00-18:00
This is the second half of work time. I almost never left work at 17:30 for years. But now I take the time to do it. Sitting at a computer for hours is as tiring as running around a lab doing experiments. I listen to music and try to finish part of my writing that I had planned for the day. Self-gratitude wins over depression yet again. The truth is, four hours of continuous work time is not possible on all days, so I was thinking what can I do that does not involve TV (thats reserved for the evening), cooking (thats for afternoon or evening) or a computer screen. My best chance was to dust the Kindle and put it to use. Since Trevor Noah was a large part of my lunch breaks, I am now reading 'Born a Crime', which is his autobiography. Its good so far.
18:00-19:00
This is my favorite part of the day because I get to move. During those initial days at home, sitting in a chair all day was creeping me out. Now, I know a lot of people do it and it is very common. I just haven't, its just not part of my routine life. So I had to find a way to keep moving as my weekly badminton and exercise routines have all been closed out. Having an energetic friend helps in this case. So I workout with her once every two days and we take this quite seriously (I like that!). Here are some recommendations: our 45 min full body workout by Chloe Ting, and a 30 min cardio workout are the most common for us as of now. Both of them are pretty good weekday workouts and don't require so much of your time. We usually break a sweat by the end of it! (This 60 min full body workout is also nice, for a weekend). On the days when we are not working out, I usually read my book longer, sleep sometimes (I feel ashamed about it), or start on an early cooking spree.
19:00 and later
It is still bright outside since our sunset is only over 20:00h and it feels terrible to spend these longer days inside. I start unwinding by now and usually make something to eat, sometimes based on what I am craving at that point because time is all I've got. Right now, even three weeks later, the interest still lies in making fancy dishes and desserts. I wonder how it will be for the next month and if this lockdown is going to be for longer. I try not to worry about it and enjoy the time to watch TV (catch up on who loves who in my favorite Chinese drama or how is 'Money Heist' going to end?).
Weekends:
These are still like usual weekends. I start by waking up late and have my 3-hour long conversations with Amma and Appa. Since these days everyone has a bit more time than normal to catch up, my weekends have been rather busy. I even spent one day being on video calls from morning 10.00 am to 09:00 pm in the evening, which caused me a terrible head ache. But it was great to talk to each and every one of them. Spending all that time cooking and eating is also pretty nice. I don't enjoy it too much, but I certainly do like spending time to do it. The end product is great anyway!
Hiccups along the way:
While all this seems structured and well thought out, it was nothing but difficult to start following it. The shift in gear from a fully packed weekday schedule I had outside: like work, german classes, badminton, weekly workout, dine out time with colleagues, travel etc etc that consumed my days, months and years so fast, this break was a hard hit indeed. But now that I am slowly settling into this new routine, it does not feel as bad. This new structure, like I mentioned before, prevents me from getting depressed about the changes we hear and undergo. I do sleep much later these days, thanks to the day light savings time change which did no help and well, to be honest, the reduced activity and dynamics. I do miss my life and its routine. I complained about it a lot before, but I miss it now. Such human traits! Although I miss spending time outside, going to the supermarket now where everyone is silent and scared and spaced out, it feels better to just stay inside. The 'Oh my god it's an apocalypse!' feeling only comes when I go out more often. Life inside my house is relatively normal.
I do hope for the day to stop visiting the John Hopkin's world COVID case counts website, for us to go back to normal lives (will it ever be?), but right now we need to follow safe practices, not panic and make the best of how our lives have changed since most of us can at least boast of having a roof over our head, food on the plate, a 25m2 apartment and a computer connected to WiFi. Why does it all feel like a luxury?
Stay healthy,
Swe
Update on 16th April, 2020
Mood right now...
Comments